I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
