The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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