so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Randomize
