I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
