Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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