U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
