I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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