No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
