Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
