I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
