hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
