If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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