dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
