She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
