she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
