I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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