Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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