u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
