we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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