Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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