I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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