They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
