I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize