Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
soo... how was my night?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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