I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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