I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
