ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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