i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Randomize
