wanna go halves on a baby?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
