So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
