This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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