i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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