why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
