Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
