My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Mom said you looked used
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
