I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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