woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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