I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
