Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
