ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
