she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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