You work out of a Hotel?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
