I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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