No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
