Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All the doctor said was why
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm really busy with my period
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