I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
