next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
People with herpes should wear stickers.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
