...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
