It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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