they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
