Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
