Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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