my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
