Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
