grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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