I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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