Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
