We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
