This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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