lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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