did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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