He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
