your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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