We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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