3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize